Did messaged Dear abot how I was feeling and why I did what I did that day. He called me then. Not once, but twice. I did not pick the call up at all. Sorry dear... I just did not know how to face you now. Messaged him before I sleep, telling him that.
Had a terrible headache. At my 2 temples. When I lie on my bed, I could feel myself sinking into the bed. The room seems to be spinning around too. Is this retribution? I thought to myself then. I better catch a good rest so that I am able to go cycling today.
Much as I thought, our plan was shattered. In the middle of the night, I woke up because of a dream. Just last week, my 2 dearest dreamt of ghost. Last night was my turn. I had dreamt of the ghost that I saw on the Channel U show. Scary... Shall not eleborate further...
Woke up at 6am, felt real giddy and nausea. Still force myself to stand up to bathe and get ready to go to work. However, after that, all I could do was to sit down, head between my legs and tried to rest for awhile. Called Rebecca up, asking her if she is able to reach hotel by 8am. I understand if she was unable to do so. Called her at such a last minute.
Thought of taking a taxi to work then. Hang on. What is Daddy's car for? Asked him to drive me to work then.
I just simply change into my uniform, without wearing the coat, never tie up my hair and headed straight to the office. I need a seat badly before I faint.
Rebecca came in not long after.
Darlene was unable to go cycling as well. Her friend has got injured. Guess she has to pay her friend a visit after work.
Went straight to the clinic after Jackie came in. Wanted Dear to accompany me at first. I was really afraid that I would collapse while walking there alone. However, he was with his friends. I tol dhim I would go by myself then. Not long after we ended the call, he called me again. I was hoping that he will say he can come and accompany me. How wrong can I be. He said he just saw my message and asked me what favour I want from him. Told him it is alright, just wanted to know if he can accompany me to the doctor.
Got a day's sick leave from the doctor. Took a taxi home immediately after that. So sad... our cycling plan has to be cancelled. Something which we have been looking forward to since last week. Shall plan to go again on another day.
Came back. Slept all the way. Only wake up at 12pm to take my lunch, followed by my medicine. Then continue sleeping again. Caught my VCD as well.
Had the sudden urge to eat grapes. So called Mummy to ask her to buy. To think she went to 3 different places before she could find the grapes I wanted. Because I specifically told her I want GREEN, SEEDLESS grapes. A spoil brat I am.
Dear called me up in the evening to ask how was I. Thanks dear. I very much wanted to talk further. But I just did not know what to say. Guily guilty guilty...
Messaged him. Asked him what should I do before he can forgive me. I find myself so contradicting. I want to talk to him but at the same time, fear of talking to him.
I keep thinking to myself. If I do not have my in my heart, would I react that way that night? NO would definitely be my answer. And also, if I am not in my heart, would he be so mad at me? I dare not give a definite answer but I think the answer would be no as well.
Well, all this mess is created by me... Hope that I am able to clear it as soon as possible. I want his old lovely self to be back and also to ocme back to me. I miss talking to you, hanging out with you, having me in your thought and you for being you my dear. Please come back soon...
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
1:43 PM